Things I Said I’d Never Do, Then Did
The longer I live, the more suspicious I become of the word never.
Recently, I began thinking about the things I once said I’d never do—and then did. What interested me wasn't simply that I changed my mind. It was the BUT that came after each never: the circumstance, need, curiosity, or opportunity that caused me to erase an old boundary I had created for myself.
Here are a few from my list.
Answer a personal ad, BUT one Friday evening I was lonely and realized if I didn't try something different, I'd remain single forever. So I answered one. Seven months later, I married that man.
Learn to be a writer, BUT at 34 I realized that if I wanted to continue moving up the corporate ladder, I'd need to quit relying solely on my ability to communicate verbally and learn to write. I chose a new job, where writing consumed 80% of my time. Years later, business writing led to personal writing, articles, blogs, and books.
Climb a 20-foot ladder and jump, BUT while writing Blind Curves, author James Rollins challenged me to describe fear more vividly. I enrolled in a five-day trapeze course to experience my fear of heights firsthand. It worked. I have rarely been more frightened or exhilarated.
Get up early when I don't have to, BUT after a lifetime as a committed night person, I wondered if there really was something special about getting a head start on the day. I created my own “Wouldn’t It Be Nice to Wake Up Early?” experiment. Soon I was leisurely drinking coffee before sunrise, smirking at my newfound time.
Wish for cold weather, BUT when friends needed a fourth for a discount on a ski trip to France, I learned to downhill ski despite years of stating that my favorite winter sport was a fireplace, a glass of pinot noir, and good jazz.
Sound like my mother, BUT . . . Do I really need to explain this one?
Let go of trying to control life, BUT after becoming a widow and trying to control the remaining fragments of my life, I collapsed in defeat. By surrendering to what is, I realized I could choose my attitude, but not external events.
What’s on Your “Never” List?
My guess is that while reading my list, you thought of a few of your own. Sometimes when we're asking What now?, it may be worth cracking open one of those doors we've labeled “Not Me” and taking a look. You don’t have to walk through it. But you might want to reconsider never.